3. May 2020 • Katja Laurien
“I need your love” is probably one of the most common messages in love songs throughout time and cultures, regardless of social status, age or gender. It’s a feeling nearly all of us can relate to and I’m no exception. If I had just the slightest talent for music, I’d probably compose my own song about it. I’m unfortunately not unfamiliar with emotional dependency which has accompanied me throughout most of my relationships.
1. March 2020 • Katja Laurien
If you’ve followed my blog a bit you might know that I had been in a relationship with my first perfect partner ever. My history of negative relationships patterns seemed endless which is why I was all the more delighted when I met this gentle, respectful and funny man. Finally, I had found someone with whom I could have a mature relationship! Coming from relationships where dependency and fear were the driving force, it was such a relief to finally be able to have a relationship which was based on honesty, respect and trust.
2. February 2020 • Katja Laurien
Who doesn’t want to be liked? It’s what makes us human, it’s part of our survival instinct. If no one would like us, we would be assured of a cold and lonely death. This urge is so deeply ingrained, most don’t even notice to what extent it takes over our lives. It’s such a natural part of our being, few people doubt the effect of this instinct.
But does our urge to be liked actually serve us?
5. January 2020 • Katja Laurien
Self love is more than just a fancy word used in psychology and amongst spiritual people. The lack of self love is probably the # 1 reason for all the misery in our lives. Without self love we can’t love others; without self love we can’t develop our full potential and without self love we can never feel “whole” or “complete”. Unfortunately, self love is not something you can turn on and off as you please.
1. December 2019 • Katja Laurien
We live in a time where everything is possible. Power, fame and abundance aren’t limited anymore to the “chosen ones” but can be achieved virtually by everyone. In a way this is great. We have more or less equal opportunities and for most people in the Western world the sky’s the limit. Unfortunately, this limitless opportunities don’t seem to make people any happier, but rather anxious and stressed out. So, where does it go wrong?
6. October 2019 • Katja Laurien
We all sometimes struggle to set our boundaries. On the one hand we want to serve others, but we also want to take care of ourselves and serve our own needs and wishes. We could also turn this around and put it differently: We either fear rejection or we fear losing control. How can we find out whether we really want to help someone or whether we are simply afraid to lose their sympathy?
1. September 2019 • Katja Laurien
I have a confession to make: I can sometimes be really mean and nasty. It seems like an inner devil gets hold of me and makes me say and do things I later regret. Obviously, I’ve always had my “dark shadow sides” (I mean, who doesn’t?!), but being on the spiritual path has challenged my relationship with my dark sides; writing posts on spirituality has even nearly blocked my relationship with my shadow.
5. May 2019 • Katja Laurien
In an earlier post, I wrote how I stopped settling for less and finally attracted a good guy in my life. I wish I could say: And they lived happily ever after. THE END. But that wasn’t the case yet.
Just like in any good fairy tale, there was a monster obstructing the couple’s happiness. Normally, it’s the prince’s task to slaughter the monster. But in this fairy tale the task was mine.
7. October 2018 • Katja Laurien
Obviously, you should never settle for less. In any situation. This post is about relationships because this is where I personally struggled most. And I assume I’m not the only one. This is why I want to share my story with you. My past relationships have been rather “suboptimal”. I don’t want to call them shitty or anything like that, because without them I wouldn’t have been where I am now.
2. March 2018 • Katja Laurien
“You are pretty good looking, how come you are single?” Are you used to hearing these or similar remarks? It seems in our society the only legitimate reason to be single is either being ugly, having an obnoxious personality or complete devotion to God. Why should a good-looking, friendly, intelligent and fun person ever choose to be single? Isn’t being in a relationship everyone’s life goal?
The social shame of being single This is the idea I started to get after being single for four years between my last two ex partners.
7. January 2018 • Katja Laurien
Do you sometimes wish you could have more control over your feelings and actions? Does your knowledge not match with your emotions and actions? Do you feel you are ruled by your subconscious? And you have no clue how to take control of this part? Chances are big your inner child is shouting out loud, trying to catch your attention.
I have found myself often in this situation, wondering what spiritual book to read or which meditation to do next to alleviate my suffering.
1. October 2017 • Katja Laurien
Today I want to share a short, but very important idea with you. Todays topic is my view on aging. Generally, this topic is approached in a rather negative way. Aging means losing your youthfulness which equals becoming ugly, fat, incapable, slow etc.
To a certain extent this might be true. Indeed, our bodies change and we feel we can’t do the things we used to do. But how often do we actually focus on the things we gained throughout the years, rather than focusing on the things we lost or are about to loose?
6. August 2017 • Katja Laurien
Healing comes from taking responsibility: to realize that it is you - and no one else - that creates your thoughts, your feelings, your actions.
— Peter Shepherd
Are you trying to say that I am responsible for my own pain?
Yes, that is exactly what I am trying to say. You are the only one that can hurt yourself. This is the bittersweet truth… Some people won’t be happy with this message and will feel attacked.
4. June 2017 • Katja Laurien
Let’s start with a short description of myself: I am loud, talk incessantly, I am hyperactive, impulsive, spacey, impatient, bossy and if complaining were an Olympic discipline, I’d be winning. These are all character traits most people (including myself) are not very proud of. In the past few months, I started to notice how these traits are getting more and more in my way. I have tried to find ways how to deal with them, without judging myself for it.
2. April 2017 • Katja Laurien
Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours. If you truly love someone you have to let them go and be happy for them, no matter what. Because true love will never cage something.
Almost everyone has suffered at least once from a broken heart. Some people suffer from it constantly. Others quickly look out for a new partner to fix the damage.