3. May 2020 • Katja Laurien
“I need your love” is probably one of the most common messages in love songs throughout time and cultures, regardless of social status, age or gender. It’s a feeling nearly all of us can relate to and I’m no exception. If I had just the slightest talent for music, I’d probably compose my own song about it. I’m unfortunately not unfamiliar with emotional dependency which has accompanied me throughout most of my relationships.
1. March 2020 • Katja Laurien
If you’ve followed my blog a bit you might know that I had been in a relationship with my first perfect partner ever. My history of negative relationships patterns seemed endless which is why I was all the more delighted when I met this gentle, respectful and funny man. Finally, I had found someone with whom I could have a mature relationship! Coming from relationships where dependency and fear were the driving force, it was such a relief to finally be able to have a relationship which was based on honesty, respect and trust.
2. February 2020 • Katja Laurien
Who doesn’t want to be liked? It’s what makes us human, it’s part of our survival instinct. If no one would like us, we would be assured of a cold and lonely death. This urge is so deeply ingrained, most don’t even notice to what extent it takes over our lives. It’s such a natural part of our being, few people doubt the effect of this instinct.
But does our urge to be liked actually serve us?
3. November 2019 • Katja Laurien
We’ve all told a (white) lie at some point in our lives. If you happen to be this rare person who has never been guilty of it, please contact me. I’d love to meet your parents and do some research on your environment. Most of us grow up in environments where we are taught to be “polite and kind”. And that the truth is impolite and unfriendly. We learn that harmony is more important than confrontation and that our needs are less important than the collective good.
5. May 2019 • Katja Laurien
In an earlier post, I wrote how I stopped settling for less and finally attracted a good guy in my life. I wish I could say: And they lived happily ever after. THE END. But that wasn’t the case yet.
Just like in any good fairy tale, there was a monster obstructing the couple’s happiness. Normally, it’s the prince’s task to slaughter the monster. But in this fairy tale the task was mine.
4. November 2018 • Katja Laurien
Recently I challenged myself not to complain for an entire week. Naturally, I complain a lot. Rarely about big issues, but more about small ones. I can clearly see how people create blocks in their lives by complaining excessively. They spend all their energy with complaining, but not really with doing something. For some reason, I always thought that my complaining had less negative impact, because I rather complain about the small things in life.
7. October 2018 • Katja Laurien
Obviously, you should never settle for less. In any situation. This post is about relationships because this is where I personally struggled most. And I assume I’m not the only one. This is why I want to share my story with you. My past relationships have been rather “suboptimal”. I don’t want to call them shitty or anything like that, because without them I wouldn’t have been where I am now.
1. July 2018 • Katja Laurien
Nearly three months ago I launched myself into a new adventure. I took a temporary job for 6 months in a hotel in the Swiss alps. I had been dreaming of living in nature, so I immediately took this opportunity. After nearly 8 years of working for the same agency in Amsterdam, I was ready for a change. I had been warned beforehand that some of the colleagues were difficult, but don’t we we all have to deal with difficult people once in a while?
5. May 2018 • Katja Laurien
Unfortunately pain does not only hurt when it overcomes us, it also does when it overcomes over loved ones. Sometimes, we are even hurt by the pain of people we barely know or complete strangers. It’s good to feel empathy for others, but when other peoples pain turns into our own pain, we need to take some steps back. In this post I will describe how I deal with other peoples pain.
2. March 2018 • Katja Laurien
“You are pretty good looking, how come you are single?” Are you used to hearing these or similar remarks? It seems in our society the only legitimate reason to be single is either being ugly, having an obnoxious personality or complete devotion to God. Why should a good-looking, friendly, intelligent and fun person ever choose to be single? Isn’t being in a relationship everyone’s life goal?
The social shame of being single This is the idea I started to get after being single for four years between my last two ex partners.
4. February 2018 • Katja Laurien
Being in the grip of jealousy is a terrible feeling. Everyone who has seriously experienced jealousy knows how paralyzing and irrational it can make you. Whether there is real cause for being jealous or it is just a suspicion, the feeling can completely captivate you and drain your energy. I am familiar with both situations. And I have learnt that whether my partner was just cheating on me in my head or cheating for real, in either case there was no need for me to feel bad.
5. November 2017 • Katja Laurien
You’re in the middle of a heated discussion, your heart is pounding, your throat is constricted and you can feel the steam coming of your head. If you’re not familiar with this situation, no need to read any further.
To me this situation is maybe a bit too familiar. By nature, I am a very stubborn person with strong opinions and a hot temper. Ask anyone who knows me as a child and he will remember vividly my temper tantrums and loud shrieks.
2. July 2017 • Katja Laurien
In my previous post I already pointed out the importance of forgiveness. But this topic definitely deserves more attention. Therefore, I decided to write an entire post about it.
In this post I do not only want to emphasize that forgiveness is important, but also why it is important and how it is best done. I will start by telling you what forgiveness is in my opinion.
What is forgiveness? Simply accepting someones apology is not enough.
2. April 2017 • Katja Laurien
Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours. If you truly love someone you have to let them go and be happy for them, no matter what. Because true love will never cage something.
Almost everyone has suffered at least once from a broken heart. Some people suffer from it constantly. Others quickly look out for a new partner to fix the damage.