7. November 2021 • Katja Laurien
We all long to be loved. It’s a fact. We are hardwired to be connected to our fellow human beings in a variety of ways. And still there are more and more people who seem to be fine with not having friends or being single. In this post I want to discuss the lacking desire to be connected to others and I’ll specifically focus on romantic relationships.
Let’s start with the question why we are so opposed to our own human nature by cutting ourselves off from love?
5. September 2021 • Katja Laurien
We all want to live with an open heart - theoretically. But in practice we see that the majority of people keep their hearts closed to a certain extent. Some of us do it consciously, but most people are not even aware of it. Those who are aware would say that they “protect” themselves from being hurt and would even call it a form of self love to not let anyone enter their hearts without proving themselves worthy of it.
4. July 2021 • Katja Laurien
In my last post I shared common misconceptions about love and how our ego can turn the most romantic ideas into dreadfully painful situations. I finished the post by letting you know that these ego-tendencies are in fact normal and necessary to our evolution which I will discuss in this post.
If you’ve read more of my post you’ll know that I’m not necessarily opposed to our ego - to the contrary.
6. June 2021 • Katja Laurien
Despite the growing consciousness of mankind, I keep realizing how many people still hold on to misconceptions about love. The way our society thinks of love and the aspects of love that are praised by most people are in fact the exact opposite of love. No wonder we all have difficulties in finding satisfaction in love if we nurture the wrong aspects of it. In this post I discuss some of the most common misconceptions about love, which - once correctly understood - could spare you the pain of investing more energy into these false beliefs.
3. January 2021 • Katja Laurien
This year one of my New Year’s resolutions is getting rid of my moral judgments. I’ve been wanting to stop judging people for a very long time, but this decision never went further than my mind. In my heart, I just didn’t manage to really pull through and I kept finding an excuse for myself why I was “allowed” to judge.
My anchor was my morality. For some reason I’ve developed an overly strict (and rigid) morality for which even my parents sometimes make fun of me (obviously, they are not the ones who taught me to me to be almost autistically moral).
6. December 2020 • Katja Laurien
Every single one of us is looking for love whether we’re conscious of it or not. Some of us rationalize their desire away by hiding it under a thick layer of fear and uncertainty, but deep down we all know that we’re yearning for this feeling of experiencing and sharing love. It’s imprinted in our human DNA and there’s no way of escaping it. Unfortunately, many of us have had some bad experiences in the name of “love” which has created resistance towards this blissful experience.
3. May 2020 • Katja Laurien
“I need your love” is probably one of the most common messages in love songs throughout time and cultures, regardless of social status, age or gender. It’s a feeling nearly all of us can relate to and I’m no exception. If I had just the slightest talent for music, I’d probably compose my own song about it. I’m unfortunately not unfamiliar with emotional dependency which has accompanied me throughout most of my relationships.
1. March 2020 • Katja Laurien
If you’ve followed my blog a bit you might know that I had been in a relationship with my first perfect partner ever. My history of negative relationships patterns seemed endless which is why I was all the more delighted when I met this gentle, respectful and funny man. Finally, I had found someone with whom I could have a mature relationship! Coming from relationships where dependency and fear were the driving force, it was such a relief to finally be able to have a relationship which was based on honesty, respect and trust.
2. February 2020 • Katja Laurien
Who doesn’t want to be liked? It’s what makes us human, it’s part of our survival instinct. If no one would like us, we would be assured of a cold and lonely death. This urge is so deeply ingrained, most don’t even notice to what extent it takes over our lives. It’s such a natural part of our being, few people doubt the effect of this instinct.
But does our urge to be liked actually serve us?
3. November 2019 • Katja Laurien
We’ve all told a (white) lie at some point in our lives. If you happen to be this rare person who has never been guilty of it, please contact me. I’d love to meet your parents and do some research on your environment. Most of us grow up in environments where we are taught to be “polite and kind”. And that the truth is impolite and unfriendly. We learn that harmony is more important than confrontation and that our needs are less important than the collective good.