6. September 2020 • Katja Laurien
This is the final post of a series of posts about understanding and dealing with our defense mechanisms which can help us see through the illusions we create in life. Therefore I’d recommend you first read the first two posts before continuing with this one. The approach I’ve been describing in these series is based on the work of the Dutch psychologist Ingeborg Bosch and her book “Illusions - How to escape the labyrinth of destructive emotions”.
5. July 2020 • Katja Laurien
The past months I’ve gone through an emotionally very turbulent period. This was not the first roller coaster I’d been through, but the fact that I couldn’t really pinpoint the problem, made it very confusing to me. I didn’t really understand what was going one with me, but I wisely decided to switch off my brain and just watch my thoughts, feelings and behaviour. Thanks to my dedicated meditation practice, it was not that difficult to stay in the observing mode.
6. July 2019 • Katja Laurien
This post is not necessarily meant for people who just think a lot. Here I am specifically talking about the monkey mind: The uncontrollable mind that seems to drag you from one horror-scenario to another and puts the worst scenario on repeat.
Trying to stop this internal chatter is in vain as long as you don’t understand the root of this mind-circus. The monkey mind is in fact just a very useful trick of the ego.
3. March 2019 • Katja Laurien
Shame is human, it’s natural and it can be very healthy! Yes, if you deal with your shame in a conscious way it can actually be a cleansing proces. Shame becomes toxic when you either ignore it or allow it to take control over you. They key is to actively and consciously face your shame and feel it. And that’s exactly the goal of writing this post: facing my own shame and let it wash all over me.
3. February 2019 • Katja Laurien
I think it’s important to have a very close look at perfectionism. Why? Because it’s one of the nasty personality traits that can be advertised as virtues. People seem to find it fancy to be a perfectionist, often mention it as their weaknesses during a job interview. Yes, it is a weakness and we should treat it as such.
If we would all be aware of the fact that perfectionism is nothing more than ego’s disguise of its lack of self-esteem, there wouldn’t be anything glamorous about it anymore.
6. January 2019 • Katja Laurien
If you hear voices in your head, no worries. You’re not crazy, we all hear them. Hearing them better and clearer is even a sign of increased sanity. There are so many voices in our head (the ego, the higher Self, the inner child, the inner critic etc.) it seems like there’s an entire village in our heads. Distinguishing between these voices helps us to control them and to stay sane.
4. November 2018 • Katja Laurien
Recently I challenged myself not to complain for an entire week. Naturally, I complain a lot. Rarely about big issues, but more about small ones. I can clearly see how people create blocks in their lives by complaining excessively. They spend all their energy with complaining, but not really with doing something. For some reason, I always thought that my complaining had less negative impact, because I rather complain about the small things in life.
1. July 2018 • Katja Laurien
Nearly three months ago I launched myself into a new adventure. I took a temporary job for 6 months in a hotel in the Swiss alps. I had been dreaming of living in nature, so I immediately took this opportunity. After nearly 8 years of working for the same agency in Amsterdam, I was ready for a change. I had been warned beforehand that some of the colleagues were difficult, but don’t we we all have to deal with difficult people once in a while?
4. February 2018 • Katja Laurien
Being in the grip of jealousy is a terrible feeling. Everyone who has seriously experienced jealousy knows how paralyzing and irrational it can make you. Whether there is real cause for being jealous or it is just a suspicion, the feeling can completely captivate you and drain your energy. I am familiar with both situations. And I have learnt that whether my partner was just cheating on me in my head or cheating for real, in either case there was no need for me to feel bad.
5. November 2017 • Katja Laurien
You’re in the middle of a heated discussion, your heart is pounding, your throat is constricted and you can feel the steam coming of your head. If you’re not familiar with this situation, no need to read any further.
To me this situation is maybe a bit too familiar. By nature, I am a very stubborn person with strong opinions and a hot temper. Ask anyone who knows me as a child and he will remember vividly my temper tantrums and loud shrieks.
6. August 2017 • Katja Laurien
Healing comes from taking responsibility: to realize that it is you - and no one else - that creates your thoughts, your feelings, your actions.
— Peter Shepherd
Are you trying to say that I am responsible for my own pain?
Yes, that is exactly what I am trying to say. You are the only one that can hurt yourself. This is the bittersweet truth… Some people won’t be happy with this message and will feel attacked.
2. July 2017 • Katja Laurien
In my previous post I already pointed out the importance of forgiveness. But this topic definitely deserves more attention. Therefore, I decided to write an entire post about it.
In this post I do not only want to emphasize that forgiveness is important, but also why it is important and how it is best done. I will start by telling you what forgiveness is in my opinion.
What is forgiveness? Simply accepting someones apology is not enough.
4. June 2017 • Katja Laurien
Let’s start with a short description of myself: I am loud, talk incessantly, I am hyperactive, impulsive, spacey, impatient, bossy and if complaining were an Olympic discipline, I’d be winning. These are all character traits most people (including myself) are not very proud of. In the past few months, I started to notice how these traits are getting more and more in my way. I have tried to find ways how to deal with them, without judging myself for it.