When we feel stuck we basically want to make a move, but we just don’t know in which direction. We want to bring about change in our lives, but we have no clue what we should do. We feel restless and lost, full of doubts and fears. Maybe we felt some kind of positive energy at some point, a vibe that led us to bring about change in our lives. But instead of positivity we feel shame and self-judgement due to our inability to take action and make progress. But how can we even take action when we don’t know what to do?
At this point we tend to make either of the following decisions: 1. As failure is preprogrammed we give up and reject the idea of bringing about change; 2. Out of desperation we push ourselves into some change, no matter how we feel about it. You can probably guess that neither of the approaches will yield any great results. But at the same time it’s a mixture of both approaches that will bring you the desired results. Because we need to give up and we need to keep making changes in order to get unstuck. The clue is to give these approaches a spiritual twist in order to make them work.
You could interpret surrender as a spiritual way of giving up. The difference between giving up and surrendering is the fact that you don’t only give up control, you give it over to a higher power. You accept the situation and give up resistance. You trust that you’re taken care of and that you don’t need to know what is next.
Even when you’re in a situation you feel is unbearable, just stop and surrender. If you really can’t see a way to improve your situation at the moment, hand over the remote control. Trust that the universe (or God, Allah, Shiva, however you want to name it) has the best intentions and will only give you what you’re ready to receive. Many times we’re stuck in horrible situations because we first need to learn from them. Moving on without the lesson would be a loss.
Once you’ve really surrendered to your situation, you’ll not only see the lesson behind it, but your subconscious mind will also signal the universe that you’re ready for the next step. You will receive what the universe has in mind for you which is always exactly what you are in need of.
Have a look inside
So let’s start shining a light on the second approach: bringing about change. Yes, we need to change, but instead of focusing on changing our outer experience, we should focus on our inner experience. We tend to think that our outer experiences are to blame for our inner experience. “I don’t have a job which is why I feel bad”. But it’s exactly the other way around! Once we focus on our inner experience we will notice how our outer experience will automatically change as well.
I firmly believe all of us already hold all answers inside. Intuitively, we all know what to do and what not to do. We just need to connect with our inner being. In order to hear the calm voice of our inner being we need to quiet our mind. And meditation is by far the best way to get this done!
While we meditate we give our mind the chance to stop thinking for some seconds. You will notice it’s impossible to keep your mind from chattering the entire duration of your meditation and that’s also not necessary. It’s completely normal to think incessantly. But every time we achieve to quiet our mind for even 2 or 3 seconds, we create space for different experiences.
In those seconds, you open the door for your creativity and intuition to come in. These are the precious moments where you have access to all those answers that lie dormant inside of you. Probably this won’t happen the first time or every time you meditate, but you every time you sit down and breath you enhance the chance of accessing those answers.
Especially in the beginning, your resistance will make it nearly impossible to quiet down your mind. In case your mind has really gone wild you can best just take a nap. Seriously, lying down and quieting your mind by drifting off to sleep can help. Researchers have even found out that we can enhance our creativity during REM-sleep. I’d still prefer meditation, but in case of emergency it’s definitely worth a try.
Focus on what’s present
Next step is too take your mindful presence from your meditation cushion to all your daily activities. Sometimes the answers lie right in front of us, but we can’t see it because we are searching somewhere far away. We forget to see what’s already present in our lives to maybe build from there.
Try to truly connect to your activities and surroundings. Don’t actively think of how this could change your life (this will come spontaneously), but just do the work. Do your work mindfully, really listen to your friends, family and colleagues mindfully and do your daily chores with your full attention. The source of your inspiration can be a surprising one.
Mindfulness does not only help you being aware of your present opportunities, but also has the same effects as meditation: it opens up space for creativity and intuition. While you are mindfully doing your dishes, you might be hit by some wave of inspiration and suddenly your next step lies right in front of you.
Ok, maybe a little bit of outer change is necessary after all. Emphasis on a little bit. Don’t try to rush to some extreme change hoping for an extreme inner change (ain’t going to happen!), but focus on making small steps. Whatever you feel stuck on (be it your relationship, your business, your emotional state), there is always some direction you can go in. Look for the direction that gives you less resistance and continue making steps in this direction, as long as it feels good.
I, for example, have been feeling very stuck when it comes to building my business. I am building on my life coach business at this very moment and I feel clueless in many aspects. What kind of coaching am I going to offer? Should I incorporate yoga or not? If yes, how? How am I going to market myself? I kind of figured no one would want a life coach who is stuck herself which made me come up with this approach.
I still continue following my business building and life coach courses, I continue putting effort into this blog and once in a while I jot down an idea that comes up regarding my business. But I don’t actively pursue answers anymore. As a spiritual being, I know the universe will yield it’s answers to me just at the right time. My task is only to surrender, meditate, be mindful and to keep moving. The rest will unfold automatically.
Even though I still don’t have answers, I already feel unstuck. I feel everything I do matters. It matters because I do it mindfully. Instead of aiming for answers from my limited mind, I am accessing answers from a higher power in myself. It matters because I move in a direction without losing to much energy on the way. I use my energy for those things I am capable of doing right here, right now. And I give myself the chance of really savouring and enjoying the path of getting unstuck. At the same time, I realize I have never been stuck. I’ve only been stuck in my mind. Entangled with my thoughts and my will to control.
Once I let go of these fearful thoughts and the resistance of being where I am, life suddenly flows again. Or let me rephrase: I can feel its flow again. The flow has been there all the time, it was just me who was trying to swim against it. Now I’m swimming along in the direction where my life is taking me. Once in a while, when I am tired of swimming, I lay back and float. I look up at the blue sky, feel how the water carries and supports me and I trust that wherever I am going to end up, it’s all going to be good.